It would appear Santa was kind to big Robert Marshall of Louden Tavern fame, judging by events on Saturday. His new shiny Pyle Pro Bullhorn electronic megaphone has replaced the old and trusted microphone, alas as a consequence of Santa’s benevolence there is just “No place to hide” in terms of escaping Robert’s infamous one liners. There is an upside however – one can reasonably enquire of this landlord “How are your pyles this evening squire”? And I would encourage you all to do so.
After Saturday’s match against Celtic there will be a lot of bears wishing Santa, albeit belatedly, could be so kind to our manager in the January transfer window. At times, it was akin to a Night at the Movies with Tav determined to land a role in Jenny Agutter’s “Walkabout” and Waghorn apparently, a stick on should they decide to do a re-make of “White Men Can’t Jump”. I doubt I’m the only bear in the room who would wish these two exposed to a Jock Wallace type de-brief on their respective performances rather than some modern-day education about how to improve their “pitch geography”.
It was painful to watch at times with the term “hot knife and butter” perhaps summing up our catastrophic defending, not so much a nightmare on Elm Street but Edmiston Drive. The fact we could have somehow squeezed out a point at the end of the day says more about Wes’ continued improvement as a keeper and their inability to finish than anything else. Perhaps however Saturday did end the mystery of Harry Forrester’s irregular appearances this season, whether it be down to selfishness or poor judgement of the final ball, but Oh Lord, how many of us will re-live that simple square pass for the rest of our days? While “Harry Met Sally” or “Deconstructing Harry” might seem like suitable contenders for this moment, personally I’d opt for Hitchcock’s 1955 classic “The Trouble with Harry”.
While our midfield may be competing for the leading role in “The Invisible Man” at least young Barrie had the swagger and look about him as one who may be a contender for “The man who would be king”. Its just a pity that so many others could not even provide a “best supporting role” let alone an accurate pass. When Souness was at the helm at Ibrox it was considered a crime to give the ball away unnecessarily, Saturday unfortunately provided us with a long list of potential movie villains in this regard.
Coming home on the bus on Saturday provided the setting for “12 Angry Men” (so long as you are generous with numbers and gender) with everyone from the board, to the manager to the players, none failed to escape the “The Wrath of Khan”. The eventual consensus was not particularly encouraging, nor were the solutions either quick or easy. Unless of course a benevolent, belated Santa were to come along with a Slumdog Millionaire.